Oh come on you know you hate preschool graduation too, admit it. Yea they are so cute up there singing their little songs and being so proud of themselves for all that have learned. And yes they are so excited at the prospect of going to kindergarten and yet, THAT is just the problem. That "wonderful" little graduation certificate is nothing more than a handwritten tombstone of their baby years. It is like putting it into stone that your baby is not longer a baby and will never again be your baby. I HATE IT!!!!! OK so yes he has been growing every day since he was born and I know he gets bigger all the time, but you don't think about it everyday about how much they are growing and about how little time you really have with them to be little. But that dang graduation is like this big "look at me I'm big" event, now off I go to the next thing.
But I go and, I suck it up and, I smile and, I tell him how proud of him I am and, about how cute he is. But inside it is killing me knowing that this is his last day ever of preschool and that you just can't stop time. And then today while trying to shower I lost it. Oh yeah major bawling! I guess, at least I could get it all out there, and not in front of the kids and the tears can just run with the water down the drain just like time does. And I have a few more months to relish my little boy before that big yellow monster with the 4 wheels comes to swallow up my baby next Aug and take him off to big kid land. Because no matter how I want to pretend it isn't so, the truth is once they go to "big kid school" they do become "big kids."
Damn that yellow bus! Yes damn that yellow monster that gives them passage to kid land. Picture me standing in the rode yelling at the bus "STOP! Please bring back my baby!!!! It's not fair!" Because every mother every where knows that the kid they are, the beginning of kindergarten, is a whole new person by the end. What is it about this year that makes it such a difference and it doesn't matter even if they don't go to kindergarten there is a major difference between a 5 yr old than a 6 1/2 yr old. That is the year they really go from snuggle bunny baby to I can do it myself big kid. And they are not the same little kid anymore. My sister told me once that the kids you have now you will only have for a short time because once they grow past that stage that kid is gone and is replaced by a different big kid and so on and so forth...
Case in point.....
I miss these little kids!!
2001
Because this ........... has been replaced by this
And this....... by this
(current photos taken by my SIL at http://newlinephotography.net/ she is fantastic!)
You know they are still so cute and adorable and I love them for who they are today, right now. But those little kids that use to play in my garden and go to preschool are not here anymore and it is sad to me. I miss them!! I miss those little kids, and I am not ready to miss the 2 little kids that I have playing in my garden and going to preschool right now.
So if anyone has the phone number for the Cullen Family please send it my way. I need to have one of them bite them so that I can keep them little forever. LOL But, actually reading the Twilight (love it!) Series I have put some thought to it. Isn't Gods plan great? Aren't there just so many reasons that God did not put a fountain of youth here? or really give us Vampires that can stay young forever? Or magic potions? Because if I knew where to find that fountain of youth I may in one rash and very selfish moment just grab my kids and throw them in it. But then I would regret it because no matter how much you love them and adore their Innocent little selves you really would never take the rest away from them. Really, would I really want to have him miss his 8th birthday and baptism? OR getting to be twelve and getting the priesthood? or his 1st crush and 1st kiss? Would I really want him to miss the joy of learning all the new things you learn as you grow? His mission? and most of all would I ever ever ever want him to miss out of becoming a dad and finding out just how much you can love a little one of your own. Because that my friends, is Divine. There is nothing I could ever want more than to watch my kiddo's grow and grow and grow and to live healthy and happy lives....... though if I had the opportunity I may just actually slow it down.... If I could..... I think I might slow it down, but I would never ever really stop it from coming. Even if I will miss the kids they have been and are right now.
And that is why even though I know I should take my "economic stimulus" check and run to the bank with it and stash it away for a rainy day, but NOPE I am doing to Disneyland because Memories last forever but time with my little kids is only a moment and I intent to dwell and bask in it while I can. Because yes I am going to let them grow up but I can still kick and scream all the while........ can't I?
5 comments:
I remember those little kids. That is when I was around them a lot more. As I was looking at their little pictures I realized why the Lord cherishes little ones so much. I think their spirits are so clean and pure. I think they are protected from the evil one. So true, they do change that year. Have so much fun at Disneyland. When are you going? I think that is really AWESOME. You are right memories will last longer than these mortal bodies.
P.s. Sorry that I could not make it down on Thursday. I too would love to chat and catch up. Lets plan a time when we can do that.
You don't realize how fast kids grow up until you look back at the pictures. I too remember those little kids. It's crazy that we've been friends for that long, but it seems like such a short time. Time sure flies when you're having fun.
P.S. I started a blog. I'll try and add you as a friend once I figure out how. LOL
Thanks, I needed a good cry! I will be dropping my baby off to preschool this fall and I'll probably be bawling the whole time! Wahhhh, make it stop but make sure it stops on a good day and not a bad one! LOL
Your kids are so beautiful at every age!! Love the pics. I'm in denial that Alexus is going into the 4th grade. I will not allow anyone to say those words outloud all summer. I just don't want to deal.
Oh, this post is so cute! I'm way behind in my post reading too. I'm usually so emotional too, so I don't know why preschool graduation didn't make me feel this way. I guess cause it's only my second kid and I know I'll have more to go maybe.
Anyway, the photos are adorable!
Hang in there during your busy season of life! You're doing great!
(And I loved reading about your daughter's track stories--I ran track at that age too.)
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