Tuesday Tell All - Random tellings from my warped mind and a Zap of a Flashback

Just a few randoms thoughts that I wanted to jot down:

I love dip. I am a total dip, and love to dip my foods. I could probably eat old shoes if I had the right kind of dip for them. My favorites are ranch, onion, honey mustard, spinach bacon, and since I am a born and bred Utah girl, of course I love the fry sauce, and one step further, Happy Valley so, oh baby bring my the white sauce for my fries. Ooooooohhhhh yeah that's what I'm talking about. hahahahaha Oh and for breakfast foods when not so many dips are around I will totally dip everything into my syrup. No, to be honest I bath everything in it. Especially the eggs. YU-UM-ME!

I am loving having the kids home for summer we are being totally lazy this year. No big adventures yet. Thursday I think we will go to the park. Tomorrow it Activity Days at my house that will be fun. But having the kids home is killing me in food. I stocked up on snacks and they are gone already. I need new summer snack ideas. They love the fruits and veggies but only when I have them all cut up and ready to go and of course, if I have the right kinds of dips on hand. But when they get hungry, instead of eating food they go for snacks.

My kids do not know the difference between a snack and a meal. If they are hungry the will eat and entire box of fruit snacks or crackers. Yes the whole box. UGH!! And their favorite snack of choice..... cold cereal what else? I swear I am going to buy stock in Malt O Meal. How many bags of cereal can 4 kids eat in one day?

Went shopping today to stock up on healthier snacks and lunches, $180 bucks later we still haven't got much for dinners. LOL Anyone else feel like the kitchen becomes a black hole when the kids are home for the summer? What is up with them turning into munch mouths? How do they ever survive at school on only one meal a day all winter long? sheesh.

We are looking for a new car. Hopefully one that is dual fuel and will save us some gas money. My husband commutes and gas is killing us. OUCH! This also means that I will get my van back and not be stranded at home everyday and that we can do a little more summer fun stuff. Hoping we find a good deal on a car. (fingers crossed)

I never do my hair anymore, seems that with the kids and the chaos and the fact that I work in the middle of the night and sleep in the middle of the day I just never really do my hair. I wash it and brush it and etc. but never really DO it, not even sure I know how anymore. Not even sure how I feel about that. But it's just a fact.

I think I am too hard on my kids and at the same time not hard enough. I can't seem to find the balance between setting expectations, teaching them to be responsible and yet also not hurting their self esteem, or pushing them to far. Sad thing is I don't even expect much but I want to see them become healthy, balanced, self assured, and confident, reliable adults. Is that too much?

I hate trying to find balance. I need to re-read "Confessions of an Unbalanced Women" it's a good book. I can already see self esteem issues with some of them and it hurts. I am sure they aren't blind to my own issues with confidence. How do you teach them to be more than you are?

Today while shopping Jesse looked a bug zappers. Looking at the box I could almost hear the sounds of my own childhood. sitting out back on the patio when our house was new and listening to the poor mosquito's snap, zap, pop before they could come and bite us. I was 5 when my mom and dad built their house. I can still remember how excited we were when the house was done and we got to move in. How happy I was knowing my grandma was just down the street. I can also remember how scared we were the 1st few nights with all 7 kids being upstairs and my mom and dad seemed so far away being downstairs. We all slept in one bedroom together until we finally decided this new house wasn't going to be so bad. Years later we would all be fighting to be the one that got a single room by themselves. I remember laying on the trampoline looking up at the stars and making silly little wishes as the bug zapper zapped away in the background.

I am going to buy a bug zapper so that some day my kids will stand in the store and be flooded with memories too. I hope they remember the excitement they had for their new house that is just across the street from where their grandparents live and only 3 - 7 miles from the other grandparents. I hope that one day they will be grateful for what they learned by having to share rooms with brothers and sister even if now they do have a single room by themselves. And I hope they will have lots of great memories looking up at the stars and making silly little wishes too. Because even the thought of the sound of a bug zapper can make you realize that childhood is but a flash, snap, pop, zap. . . and all you take are the memories.


By the way the mosquito's are out of control already and I really am buying a zapper, and because Samantha is allergic. I know a zapper is like pouring a thimble on a barn fire but it at least makes you feel like you are doing something to fight in the battle. LOL

Charity, Blissful Sleep, and Just hanging out

This past weekend seems to have gone by in a blur, again. LOL

On Friday we went swimming for a fundraiser that was for my cousins son that has cancer.

It was so good to be able to go and donate and show our love and support for them.

But I also have to admit that we had soooooo much fun swimming.

It was a pool that we haven't been to before and it was a blast. I took a few pictures but on my dad's camera.

The swimming was from 9-11 pm. The kids were exhausted by the time we got home because it was midnight.

Put them to bed and then Jesse and I stayed up for a couple hrs watching dvd's of Battle Star Galactica. I am not a real sci-fi person but I am married to a geek. Since all the guys (computer nerds) he works with have been watching it he wanted to watch it too, so, I said ok go rent them. Have to admit they are better than I expected and I really have been enjoying them. And besides he watched ever last Alias episode with me during my Alias fetish. OK so he watched them 2x with me since I had to repeat them once it went off air and I was having with drawls. LOL

Anyway we were all so tired that when we woke up on Saturday morning it was 11:30 am. NOT even kidding you. I felt like such a lazy sloth but then thought: ya know what, I stay up and work late all the time and Jesse is stuck getting up all night with whatever kid or dog needs him, so, it is high time we all got a day to sleep in! Right?

Does anyone else feel guilty for sleeping? I totally do. Beat myself up for it all the time even when I have worked until 5 am I still feel bad for sleeping in. But, I have guilt and depression issues so it's no huge shock for me to beat myself up over these thing. Anyway any one else have sleep issues?

BUT oh my, the sheer bliss of a nice long sleep! The joy the joy! I remember the day... LOL Maybe I should attend charity functions more often. LOL I can not believe my kids slept that long.

Then we got up and cleaned like there was no tomorrow. So nice to get the house picked up. With the kids home from school this place it quickly becoming more than a zombie like me can handle. Plus it's a lot more to clean than the old house.

Then Jesse's sister invited us up for dinner. So sweet of her! The kids love her to death and haven't seen her for a while and they love going to her house. Got a few pictures here are my faves. She has a beautiful yard and my kids were happy to be on some grass for a change. (I know out time will come I know) Look how funny will was when I told him to smile.

Then worked Sat. night, got my primary lesson ready, and then at church Sunday I only had one kid to teach. Hum yeah so glad I put in so much effort. LOL No actually is was nice and she is a great listener. And it's not about the number of kids and she got extra treats too.

Then after church we went to my moms and ate. YUMMY YUMMY we made our own version of this chicken stuff that we get at a local restaurant. It was Grilled Chicken Breasts topped with sauteed onion rings, and bacon and cheese and BBQ sauce then melted in the oven on broil for about 5-10 min. I was soooo de-lish and ultra fabuloso! Have to make that again.

Then back to work again last night

Then this morning when I got up I felt like a sloth. Some days, on no sleep, I do ok, and some days like today, I do not do ok. I was irritable, grumpy and didn't want to do a thing. So I didn't, I didn't get not even one single thing done all day long. I suck rocks! Big ones! And to top is off I was the meanest mom in the world. Grumpy all day about everything. Poor kids.

And now I am back at work and hope that tomorrow will be a new day and that I will be much nicer a mom and perhaps even have an ounce of energy to move a little. LOL

I hate preschool graduation!! and Anyone know a good Vampire for Hire?

Oh come on you know you hate preschool graduation too, admit it. Yea they are so cute up there singing their little songs and being so proud of themselves for all that have learned. And yes they are so excited at the prospect of going to kindergarten and yet, THAT is just the problem. That "wonderful" little graduation certificate is nothing more than a handwritten tombstone of their baby years. It is like putting it into stone that your baby is not longer a baby and will never again be your baby. I HATE IT!!!!! OK so yes he has been growing every day since he was born and I know he gets bigger all the time, but you don't think about it everyday about how much they are growing and about how little time you really have with them to be little. But that dang graduation is like this big "look at me I'm big" event, now off I go to the next thing.




But I go and, I suck it up and, I smile and, I tell him how proud of him I am and, about how cute he is. But inside it is killing me knowing that this is his last day ever of preschool and that you just can't stop time. And then today while trying to shower I lost it. Oh yeah major bawling! I guess, at least I could get it all out there, and not in front of the kids and the tears can just run with the water down the drain just like time does. And I have a few more months to relish my little boy before that big yellow monster with the 4 wheels comes to swallow up my baby next Aug and take him off to big kid land. Because no matter how I want to pretend it isn't so, the truth is once they go to "big kid school" they do become "big kids."

Damn that yellow bus! Yes damn that yellow monster that gives them passage to kid land. Picture me standing in the rode yelling at the bus "STOP! Please bring back my baby!!!! It's not fair!" Because every mother every where knows that the kid they are, the beginning of kindergarten, is a whole new person by the end. What is it about this year that makes it such a difference and it doesn't matter even if they don't go to kindergarten there is a major difference between a 5 yr old than a 6 1/2 yr old. That is the year they really go from snuggle bunny baby to I can do it myself big kid. And they are not the same little kid anymore. My sister told me once that the kids you have now you will only have for a short time because once they grow past that stage that kid is gone and is replaced by a different big kid and so on and so forth...




Case in point.....

I miss these little kids!!

2001

Because this ........... has been replaced by this




And this....... by this
(current photos taken by my SIL at http://newlinephotography.net/ she is fantastic!)

You know they are still so cute and adorable and I love them for who they are today, right now. But those little kids that use to play in my garden and go to preschool are not here anymore and it is sad to me. I miss them!! I miss those little kids, and I am not ready to miss the 2 little kids that I have playing in my garden and going to preschool right now.

So if anyone has the phone number for the Cullen Family please send it my way. I need to have one of them bite them so that I can keep them little forever. LOL But, actually reading the Twilight (love it!) Series I have put some thought to it. Isn't Gods plan great? Aren't there just so many reasons that God did not put a fountain of youth here? or really give us Vampires that can stay young forever? Or magic potions? Because if I knew where to find that fountain of youth I may in one rash and very selfish moment just grab my kids and throw them in it. But then I would regret it because no matter how much you love them and adore their Innocent little selves you really would never take the rest away from them. Really, would I really want to have him miss his 8th birthday and baptism? OR getting to be twelve and getting the priesthood? or his 1st crush and 1st kiss? Would I really want him to miss the joy of learning all the new things you learn as you grow? His mission? and most of all would I ever ever ever want him to miss out of becoming a dad and finding out just how much you can love a little one of your own. Because that my friends, is Divine. There is nothing I could ever want more than to watch my kiddo's grow and grow and grow and to live healthy and happy lives....... though if I had the opportunity I may just actually slow it down.... If I could..... I think I might slow it down, but I would never ever really stop it from coming. Even if I will miss the kids they have been and are right now.

And that is why even though I know I should take my "economic stimulus" check and run to the bank with it and stash it away for a rainy day, but NOPE I am doing to Disneyland because Memories last forever but time with my little kids is only a moment and I intent to dwell and bask in it while I can. Because yes I am going to let them grow up but I can still kick and scream all the while........ can't I?

A month in pictures

This past month just seemed to fly by in a flurry. I don't want to miss documenting all the fun and since pictures is the only way I know how here is A month in pictures! (also because in my current state of sleepy I can only remember the things I took pictures of.

I got the rest of my cement poured. It is so nice to have a sidewalk and patio to off set my dirt yard. But things are coming along nicely even if a little slow and I planted flowers in pots out front to bring in some green. Also a big adjustment is that my shifts got changed at work and I am now working 10:30 pm to 4:30 am and though this means less sleep it also means more time at night to get things in the yard done. Before Jesse would get home most days around 6 and I had to be in my office and logged in by 8 so we had time to do dinner and that was about it.

I am looking forward to having more time at night after the kids go to bed. Tonight we actually got to have a kid free few moments to talk and got to watch a movie together. I work from home which is really nice but since I work on the phone I hibernate into my office were it is distraction and noise free. Some of the girls I work with can work in their family rooms but I am too much of a worrier for that. So instead I choose to work in the middle of the night. But once school gets out Jaden will be able to watch the kids in the mornings and let me sleep in. That will be good and it will also be a great way for him to earn some money (he keeps asking for a money earning job around here) And since I will only be a few rooms away I will not have to stress about the trouble they will get into... well to much... oh crap YIKES!!! Today my dad was a doll and took the kids across the street to his house to play and I got to sleep for 4 straight hrs. It was bliss!!! What I am going to do when school starts again and we have to bet up and on the bus and etc.? I have no idea but for now I will just be thankful that I can work at home with only a few little inconveniences. Because truly this is a sweet gig and I am very blessed to have my job.

Another fun event of the past month was going to Grandpa J's house for a Birthday dinner. The kids love getting together and spending time with the cousins. Look how sweet grandpa is indulging Will with a ride in the gator since all the big kids kicked him out of the other one. If you look close you can see them all crammed in together getting jealous that Will gets his own personal ride. Grandpa is so cute with the kids. He is the type of guy that acts like a tough guy but once you see him with the grand kids you just know he is really a little kitten. Know what I mean?

The 3 famous 11 yr olds. Jaden is in a group with 3 cousins his same age on this side of the family and on my side also. It was really fun that year to be pregnant at the same time as my sister and 3 sister in-laws. And as you can see the kids have loved growing up together. Here they are thinking the rule the roost as the drivers of the buggy excursion. Yea, now you are understanding just how it was that Will got kicked out huh?

Here are all my boys looking SHAGGY! We have a tendency to let the hair get a little out of control before making it in for hair cuts. Lucky for us we have a very patient hair dresser and friend that understands out crazy ways and can come to the rescue with her magic Nikki Scissor Hands.

And Nikki, today the only thing you are going to get blamed for is for making Will look this darn cute!

This was my attempt at catching his after shot in her salon.

The kids aren't letting the lack of grass stop them from having fun in the yard. They have set busy to work making mud rivers and waterfalls. I think they just like building dams and saying "dam" because the think the are getting away with something. They love to build a reservoir then make paths for the water and then destroy the dam and let all the water enter the channels to see how far it will get or how far it can push things. I love that the weather is good enough for lots of outdoor play but I hate the muddy clothes every day!




And with all the outside play and working on getting the garden ready comes some tuckered out kiddos.... and dogs. :)

One quick snap of the pre-garden preparation. You saw the finished results already. Yes this was pre-millions of tomato plants.

And for Activity Days with the little girls from church, we made these fun treat plates for the moms. Yummy and also something that the moms could just eat and not have to find a place for. It was a clutter free gift.


The side effect however was a not so clean kitchen. This is the result of 9 girls and pans of melted chocolate. I won't even start on the amount of chocolate scraping I had to do.

The boys playing with Grandpa's puppies. And more dying animals stories. The long made short 2 of the puppies got sick started throwing up and ended up dying. What is up? And we also lost yet another calf. UGH! What is up? Is this more of Mother Freaking Nature hating me? I guess my kids are learning to be tuff. Right? grrrrrrr!!

And here is Samantha trying to look excited about the 7 mini frogs in the bucket. They have been catching frogs. Lucky they put the back into the wild and don't get to attached since they would just die too. Seeing as that seems to be the theme around here.

And this would be poor Will sporting a nice sized fat lip that Garyn decided to give him. Garyn is a good kid and he is so cute with Will, but lately they seem to be playing way to rough with each other. I have had to hide any long hard object (aka club) and also any ribbon rope or cord (aka whip). Ever since Garyn saw bits and pieces of Indiana Jones that dad was watching he now wants to whip everything and everyone in site. Yea, NOT funny! and NOT cute! This is him trying to look all innocent after giving Will the fat lip. Grrrrrrr. Don't even get me started on the day he found the pet chain in Samantha's room. You know the ones that are supposed to hang from the ceiling so that you can hand your stuffed animals? Well guess what? They also make a very painful whip. OOOH KIDS!!

And another very expensive trip to the dentist. Jaden had to get a crown because he has a tooth that is broken off and Samantha had 2 cavities filled. Thank goodness Garyn had a clean bill of tooth health. (for now)

She seems to be enjoying the laughing gas to much doesn't she? HA HA HA HA HA HA!

This was another proud mommy moment brought to you by Hersey. Jaden's track meet was this past week. He did not want to run. He tried everything to get out of it including not telling me it was the same day as the dentist appointment. Jaden bless is little heart has a hard time a school sometimes. He is a bully magnet. This year has been much better than years past but some days he still gets more than his fair share for crap. And I guess some of the kids have been teasing him about not being a super fast runner. I am sure that Samantha doing so well at her meet didn't help him in that area. But after much coaxing I was finally able to convince him that he needed to run his race to prove to himself that he could do anything he wanted and that he wasn't going to let the bullies get the better of him. To be honest the final and last straw I used was that if he didn't go down and get lined up they would probably read his name in the speakers. That was enough of a motivation for him to go get in line. He was in heat 37 so he was waiting for a long time. I really thought he might bail out but he didn't he actually ran. I was so proud of him. And to tell the truth he didn't do half bad. I couldn't tell from where I was standing if he had taken 2nd or 3rd in his heat. He says it was 3rd. That isn't the point though. The point was he tried he actually just tried. He put all the voices in his head to rest by doing his best and to tell the truth again I was more proud of him for taking 3rd in his one heat than I was when Samantha took 3rd in the whole city, because he really really overcame such an obstacle. It was probably one of the hardest things for him. He is a very timid personality and he lets things really get to him, he never stands up for himself because he doesn't want the teachers to get mad at him so he just takes it from these bullies all the time. And I mean even physically! Last week one kid slapped him and last year they kept "white washing" him, which I guess means shoving you in the snow and putting snow down your shirt. But this was his own little way of standing up to them. You know I am just really proud of him and really lucky to have a kid that is such a good kid. He just always wants to do the right thing and he says "being mean back isn't right" God bless his heart he is an absolute angel! A little lazy but such a dang good person! with a heart of GOLD!



For mothers day we had 3 different family events. 1st we took Grandma S (hubbies mom) out to dinner. I didn't grab m camera on the way out the door so I didn't even get a picture. And grandma was such a doll she gave me the cutest watering can! I love it and it is next to my plants on the fire place. For looks only. The kids better keep their hands off. The next event was on Mothers Day Sunday we went with my family for Grandma N's picnic. We went to a park behind the temple and it was very nice. The food was easy and yummy (sandwiches) and the kids had a blast on the big hill ice blocking. The funniest part was when Will dumped out his drink and was trying to ice block on the little ice cubes. LOL He just wants to be big. like the others. It was darling but the picture I got didn't even really show it. He is hilarious. Also just to top of the day my mom gave each of us a necklace and earring's to match. It was very sweet of her.

And then this Sunday we had a belated Mothers Day Dinner at Grandmas J's (hubbies step mom) She did a fabulous dinner as always. And she didn't even let us help. She made it fairly easy on herself by buying catering but I still felt guilty that she did the whole dinner and it was her mothers day dinner. Anyway here is a great shot of the kids on the gator again. Yup the love that thing. Gives poor grandma a heart attack too but they love it. And she also gave each of us mom's 2 scrapbook kits including the albums and all the papers, embellishments, and etc to match. AWESOME! now to put it to some use. The only crafting I have done lately was to make the card boxes for the mothers day cards. Very last minute and one didn't even get decorated because I thought of it too late. Here is how cute they turned out. I am loving that little cricut machine. I also used it this week to help Jaden's class with their state reports. AWESOME and lots of fun! Still need to go to the school and get my machine back.

And so there we go a month all at once. But now I can sleep in peace tonight er uh I mean today, knowing that my goal to keep a record is actually happening. And after all this is for my peace of mind anyway. And all in all not a bad month. Crazy, busy as always but filled with fun moments together, and that is what matters.

Before I was a mom...

This is the email Amy sent me and that they read in church today. I loved it and it pretty well sums it up for me. Enjoy and again Hope you had a Happy Mothers Day!

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom...
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom...
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
or Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night, before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom...
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried myself.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom...
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom...
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom...
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

And I certainly didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

And the 4 reasons that I love being a mom:

It just doesn't get any better than this!

Samantha New Track Star, Missing in Action.....

One of those weeks: a ride on the emotional roller coaster of life... Mostly centered on Samantha

First off I have to say that I am not the only one enjoying my birthday present of the Cricut Machine. Samantha made this cute sign for the door to her room. I love that I actually got her to show some of that cute personality of hers on camera. (she is shy)

Now for the scary story of the day. I had a very busy day with lots to get done. Finishing up my mothers days gifts. And I was sitting here making them around 10 am when I get a phone call from the school. My 1st thought was that Jaden better not be calling to tell me to come get him because my car is still in the shop and I just knew it wasn't Samantha because her class was on a field trip today. It was the school secretary saying that she was calling to see how Samantha is doing. I am like "?????Huh???? what are you talking about?"

So she said "Well isn't she sick? Isn't the why she isn't as school?"

UM so my heart does a leap. I reply in a somewhat panicked voice by now "She better be at school I put her on the bus this morning."

Yeah at this point you can imagine I am starting to think the worst.

So she says "Well, she probably just got marked absent. I will run to her class room and check on her."

Only problem NO ONE is in the class room because they are gone on a field trip. So she assured me she would find out. I told her she better call the bus depot and get the drive on the intercom ASAP and make sure my kid is there. So I hang up start pacing and thinking what the hell happened to my kid? I kept telling myself she is there, she is fine, if anything happened after she got on the bus someone would have seen and would have ran for help, wouldn't they?

So then ah ha I remember the teacher is one of her friends grandma's so I call the mom to get the grandma/ teachers cell phone and guess what she isn't there she is on the field trip too. So then ah ha number 2 call Nikki she may be there she goes on field trips.

So I call her cell phone and she answers.

Me: all calm "are you working or are you on the field trip?"

her: "I am on the field trip"

Me: "Is Samantha there?"

Her: "Ya, why do you need to talk to her?"

Me: wah, wah, wah, boo hoo, hysterically crying "no I am just glad she is with you and alive and safe"

Nikki again: "take a breath! What is going on?"

So I tell her. At that point the school calls back. They had called another teacher on her cell phone at the same time.

See this is how I am. I totally held it together thinking OK I am sure she is there but I want to confirm it. So I take care of that, figuring out how I am going to make sure she made it to the field trip. I didn't really get too worked up until Nikki confirmed that she was fine at which point I lost it, totally bawling hysterically. Once I get the yes she is fine then I cry because I was so glad that she was ok. Just to realize that she is ok and how fast things can happen. Man being a mom sucks. Kids can be such a worry and you just want to lock them up where you can keep them safe, but you know that they have to have a life and that you have to let them go and be on their own sometimes, but it is so hard and so scary. So needless to say this was on hell of a scary day and I don't mind saying that I had the shit scared out of me. You bet ya, I was so damn happy to see my baby girl walk in that door after school today.

And in other news.... she kicked some butt at the Hershey Track Meet on Tuesday:

Running shoes $20

Sun Screen $5

Home lunch $4

Finding out you can kick major A$$ and that you have a real talent: PRICELESS!!

This was Samantha's 1st year to do the track meet. She has been so nervous about it and has been saying things like: I will look so dumb when I run, so and so said this, what if my foot hurts, what if I don't want to run, etc. you know just being her total normal stressed out self. She get all worked up over everything. She totally stressed until she makes herself sick. Now we knew she could run pretty fast and that if she would actually get past the nerves and past her being so self conscious that she would do pretty good in her races and that she would find out for herself that she can do anything she tries. We didn't really know that she was going to kick some major butt and find out that she loves to win and has a little competitive streak to her.

So when I get there her teacher tells me that Samantha is really nervous and that she says she isn't going to run. The teacher will not make them run if they don't want to. But I was determined to get this girl on the track. I love her to pieces but she really stays in her little bubble way too much. She has a very hard time getting out and trying new things or meeting new people. She is SHY very SHY and she is very hard on herself and totally a nervous person. I knew I had to make her at least try this. So I sat in the stands and talked to her for a long time about how she needed to just pretend that she is the only one on that track and that really no one would be watching just her. And she pointed out just how fast it is over and that you aren't on there in front of everyone for very long and then you get to sit with your friends again. So she decides that she is going to give it a try and lines up for the 1st race. 50 meter I think.

WOO HOO GO Samantha GO! She crossed that finish line and didn't have anyone even close to her. (probably figured the faster she ran the less people could see of her. LOL) But oh boy once she caught a taste or victory she was thrilled. She came off after that 1st race and was like "WOW that was fun! I like winning!" uh oh not only have we found a new talent but we have unleashed little miss competition. She finished her other events 1st place too. Then moved into the semi-finals where she finished those races all 1st place too. And then they did her relay and then finals. She did great! She was so exhausted by the end. She came up and told me that she had ran 11 races. (I don't think it was quite that many) But even exhausted when she ran the finals she was amazing. She came in 3rd place in one and I believe 4th place in the other. She has been so proud of her self and keeps telling us. "I am the 3rd fastest 3rd grader in the city" Cute huh!?

I know I am being a bragger mom, but I have to just tell you what I am bragging about.. I am so proud of her for not making up any excuses, for not getting so scared that she either quit or puked or fainted, for not letting other people get into her head and convince her that she couldn't do it so why try. I am so proud of her for getting out there for trusting in herself and for trying. For not just trying but for really going for it, for giving it her all and for really really being brave. This was one of the best experiences and self confidence builders that she could ever have and she really needed it. Way to go girl!! You are a rock star! Looks like there is one crack in the shell and we may get her to come out of it after all.

Grrrrr...... A fast Vent

I hate this day and I haven’t been able to get ONE thing done so what the hell ever. Being a mom is like drowing in an inch of water. It takes a while but eventually it will kill you!

It is amazing what one little boy can do with a bowl or dehydrated refried beans. UGH! only one of the 17 thousand messes he made today.

Sometimes Great things just happen

I am big on traditions. I always have been I was raised with many many traditions and they are just in me. Perhaps its that I am not a really organized or scheduled type person so I may cling to these little traditions as my way of finding the things that are constant. Or I guess you could say my fly by the the seat of your pants attitude is a tradition in its own way. But either way I just love traditions and I have made a dang sure effort in forming traditions that are unique to our family weather it is egg nog on Christmas eve (from my family) or Christmas bears (his family) or Conference drives (our own family) we like to spend time doing these traditions.

Sometimes it feels like I am always enforcing these traditions. You know the mom job of organizing it, planning it, and making it happen. And I do this not to torture the family but because it is important for me to take the time to build family closeness and for the kids to have family time. But sometimes great things just happen. Like somehow it has just slipped in there this fabulous Flying Kites With Daddy tradition.

Every spring Jesse gets a bug and buys kites and brings them home so that he and the kids can go out into the yard (or this year, um, lack of yard) and fly kites together. He gets great kites with all the fluff (like this year a full on pop out dragon) and also simple little $1 kites for the little kids since he knows they are going to get crashed. Could you imagine such a thing? But it doesn't matter the kites, it is the remarkable way that he makes the kids feel so special about it. He brings the kites home and makes is such a big deal to show them their surprise and then sets aside his time to fly them together. I love this!!!!! I love that this didn't take any coaxing or pushing from me and that he just loves to do it. It was never intended to be a tradition but it has just somehow become one and in my opinion these are the traditions that will make the lasting difference. Not so much the pj's on Christmas eve or mom forcing you into the car to go somewhere for the sake of tradition. But The heartfelt my daddy loves me and loves to spend time with me tradings. Sometimes great things just happen. Thanks Jesse for being a super dad! One more of the many things I love about you!

This is my favorite picture of the day. Garyn in the back yard with his kite. I adore his yellow puddle boots almost as much as he does. He wears them with everything. I am temped to print this in black and white all except the boots and the kite. What do ya think? Can you just see how perfect a day it was for flying kites?

Samantha sitting on the hay. It was a little chilly in the wind so she was flying her kite from inside her pocket. It was cute she was just sitting on the hay enjoying the day.

Jesse trying to get Jaden's Dragon kite up in the air. After the kite flying was over I made him stay our in the breeze and BBQ steaks and boy did they ever hit the spot. It was a Fabulous Friday for sure!

I am going to be taking a small bloggy break because it is spring break with the kids and we have fun things planned. WOO HOO the kids have a week off school and Jesse and I have a week of work this is going to be great!

April Conference 2008 even better than I expected

Well one thing it for sure, this weekend was even better than I had expected. It was AMAZING and such a great testimony builder. This was a special conference and I have been very excited to be able to listen to President Monson. But what I got was so much more it was unexpected and great.

I turned the TV on and gathered the family for the 10 am session Saturday and I was crying before the 1st prayer was even over it was just amazing. I just felt the warm comforting feeling that you feel when you know you are witnessing something amazing. The solemn assembly was so incredibly powerful. I couldn't have ever been prepared for the strong and wonderful spirit that I felt in my home as my children stood so excited to raise their hands and we stood there together as a family and were able to sustain and support the Prophet. We talked a little about how wonderful it is that God doesn't leave us to go it alone but that he sends us great leaders to help us. And even when we loose one as great as President Hinckley our Heavenly Father has already groomed and prepared someone to take his place. I hope they could feel the spirit as well. I am so grateful that we got to have this experience. It was also nice being that I live in UT and we got to watch a special presentation about the life of President Monson and the kids got to see a little of what I meant by Heavenly Father preparing him for this great work his whole life. It was great. And then his remarks at the very end on Sunday when you could tell he was just speaking from the cuff. Oh how endearing. He has such a great humor and such a fun way about him and hearing him talk about his wife being worried about the 4th quarter taxes. He is so real just a real person so much like the rest of us so humble and yet so amazingly powerful. I am sad that I missed the ear wiggling at the priesthood session on Sat. It sounded great.

The talks were all great. I know that several times I felt as though they were talking right to me and that the talk was given just for my ears to hear it. I always feel this way during conference I am sure that is why I love it so much. Also my favorite talk was the "mom" talk by Elder M. Russel Ballard. I laughed when I told my hubby that it made me feel guilty for always feeling guilty about not being a good enough mom. Can't wait to re-watch it tomorrow. I recorded it all.

And despite my feeling guilt for feeling guilt, I was so happy to hear him say that we need to remember that parenting is about the "moments" (and WOW Crystal that is your word for the year totally thought of you. Are you on the right wave length or what?) It helped me to know that it is ok to not worry so much about the next 'thing' then next task or even or checking something off my mental to do list but to enjoy the kids while they are young. I had to have Will and his constant sicknesses and neediness to teach me this, and I have been working on it, even if by being forced by Will to take the time for the moments, but I am glad because this is so important. I need to really remember that the important thing as a mom is that I need to take the time to enjoy them, to love them, to pray with them, and to teach them, because these are the things that will really matter in the end. Not if I had enough fun planned, attended enough events, did enough homework, gave them enough educational toys, make enough posters, did I do enough time outs, do I do too many time outs, was at the school enough, did all the teacher gifts, made all the handouts cute, etc. you know, all the stuff we beat ourselves up with as moms. I need to do my best and just do my best.

Even though now I kind of feel guilty that I got a job because I was sick of feeling like a failure as a mom and couldn't stand it and have to have a pay check so that I feel worth anything. It was a great talk if even for me to realize that a mothers worth is priceless. Though admittedly I am still not ditching the job because #1 now I have the new house to pay for and its not as job optional as it was. #2 because I work at home in the middle of the night when they are all sleeping so I am not missing much #3 because I love having "me" time and I get to do other stuff while working like uhm blog, relax, chat on IM with my friends, do a little family history work, and my new joy extractions, and make scrapbook pages when I actually take the time to. And #4 because even if a mothers worth is priceless I now know that having a price attached to me makes me sane and less homicidal/suicidal. Sad I know, but that's just how it is. I do need to work on the guilt thing though. And if having a job helps me deal with my postpartum depression bad mom issues than so be it.

Anyway it was just a great weekend. The kids had fun having the grandparents over for dinner and of course loved going to the park after conference for a family picnic. Complete with freezing cold wind and a little rain of course. And we even got to take my niece Savannah from Jesse's side of the family with us too so it was double great. Yeah I needed that outing. Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend too.

Got the Crazies again and is this almost over yet??? Oh and I feel like CRAP!

I feel like I have always got the Crazies!! This has been such a crazy last few months, weeks, and days, ugh! Can someone please tell me if this moving thing is almost over yet???

THANK GOODNESS for friends and family for HELPING ME!! WOW I don't know what I would have done with out them. We have had so much help along the way. And here is a useful note for anyone that ever builds a new house. Once the construction is over and you pass the last inspection and you sign the last paper and get the "go ahead" to move in remember this: the construction is not over yet! I can't believe how many days I have spent sitting at home waiting for the people to come do this or that or hook up this or that or etc. I have felt like so torn the past few weeks. We moved the basics over to live in the new house as soon as we possible could but we still had soooooooooooooo much work to do at the old house. Only we didn't want to go move stuff from the old house we just wanted to live in the new house with out all the junk that we have accumulated over the past 13 1/2 yrs of marriage. So that was the 1st thing that made it hard the next was that we kept having to stay home for people to work on things here. And the last problem was Jesse works days and I work nights so by the time we gets home we only have enough time to haul about 1 load before we have to do dinner and I have to work. Yeah like I said I feel like I have the Crazies!!!!!!! I can't even find time to breath that is why my face is blue.

So Saturday we did the last big moving and cleaning day. My SIL Cheryl babysat my little boys and Jesse and I took Jaden and Samantha and Cheryl's daughter Anya over to the old house to clean and haul. We had to clean out the dreaded shed. UGH!!! After a while my Sister came by and helped me clean. Can I just say that she saved my life by doing this? She is amazing. No one wanted to come and help me clean because the old house has a mold problem that I have been fighting ever since we moved there. Also note if you are going to build a house and you find a rental for "6 months" and they tell you that you won't have to pay a cleaning deposit if you will do the move in cleaning since the guy that lived there was old and had let mold get into the window seals and along the heaters: RUN!!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! Don't be naive like me and think oh ok duh I can just do that. Because the truth is that the house probably has a massive mold growing stupid problem in the winters and that you will probably be stuck there with 4 kids for more like 2 1/2 years not 6 months. OK But like I was saying my sister came and helped me clean the mold adobe and we even wore masks while doing the cleaning. See why I am hoping that Will's health gets better now that we have moved?

So we packed hauled and cleaned all day UGH! and Grrrrr. We didn't get it all done and we had planned on coming back to do the rest of it Sunday after church. Yes I am evil that way. It was a tiring day And then I worked until 1 am. They let me off an hour early because it was dead and I was dying coughing (yes still after a month) So I was up late anyway getting my Sunday stuff ready. This week was my week to teach our class (10-12 yr old girls) and My mom was out of town (having fun it the St. George sunshine) so I had to do her music for Primary. That was a treat. NOT!!!! But I did wear makeup in case you are wondering. Yeah I know you were. But I made it easy and we did name that tune and I put lots of songs with actions into the bowl because then I didn't actually have to "lead" the music. I don't really know how to lead but I can stand there and sing and do actions no problem. LOL Oh yeah and the singing was not fabulous. It never is and especially since I am coughing my head off. Also since I had a busy church day and Jesse had a busy church day with teaching his class too we thought we would give the nursery another try. Not to cool! We have great nursery leaders but they are both pregnant and having babies right now and wrestling Will is hard for them. But yesterday we had a sub and she is absolutely fabulous!!!!!!! GO AMY!!! She was doing so great with him getting him to play and to actually be friendly. But of course he knows that we are across the hall in the primary room, so he constantly tries to escape. She just keeps catching him and putting him back in. But can you even believe that the only time I went out into the hall (since I was having a coughing fit and had to get a drink) it would have to be right during one of the times that he was escaping and he saw me. UGH! It was all over then. So he got to spend the rest of the time in the big kid classes with me and daddy. Oh the joy! Yeah I know I have great timing on the being in the hall thing. DANG IT!!!

Did I mention that is was totally snowing when we woke up Sunday? WTH is up with that? Jesse made it happen. He said as we were packing the garage to the fullest of fullness Saturday "well at least the weather is finally good and we will have some time to sort and de-junk before we really need the cars back into the garage" HAHAHAHA Boy was he wrong. He shouldn't have said that. And today he broke the ice scraper trying to leave for work. HAHAHA yeah not funny but really it was funny. Another day that I am so glad to be working from home. But we didn't get any moving done Sunday and today was the last day of the month so when Jesse got home we ran over and got the last of it. Well most of it. We still have the throw away pile to take care of and 3 give away or throw away items in the house too. Anyone want an entertainment center with a TV? or a Computer Desk? or a Table? Hope they don't mind that we still have that last stuff to move. oops. Yes I totally procrastinate and push it all until the due date and this time even past it. grrrrr again. :(

And as for the rest of the day not any funner. I took Will and Myself to the Dr. oh the joy!! I have had this cough for FOREVER, they did give me antibiotics, major ones too, like 4 a day. WOW and he said I have an ear infection starting. Didn't even know that part. My ears don't even hurt just the rest of me does. So sick of being so sick can, I just say. And Will had his blood drawn AGAIN so that we can soon get to the bottom of his problems. Again hoping he feels better soon. Poor kid. If I think I am sick of being sick, I can only imagine how he feels. He doesn't even know what it feels like to not be sick because he has been like this since he was about 6 months old.

Oh yeah and then we went grocery shopping and picked up prescriptions that was a blast for sure. Will kept climbing out of the cart and trying to run away in the store and he chewed though the wrappers of 2 cheese sticks and the best part was in the check out lane I took him out of the cart because the checker lady was worried that he was going to fall because he wouldn't sit down and then when I put him out of the cart he marched straight to the candy and opened up the Rollo's and started eating them. So I had to buy those too. (didn't let him have them though because I didn't want to reward him so I HAD to eat them. hahaha yeah had to eat the yummy Rollo's. poor me)

If anyone reads this long post I will be amazed. But I don't really care because I needed to get it all out of my stupid head. If it is dead tonight at work I am totally going to make a few scrapbook pages because I need that since I am feeling so blue and I will post them too. If I make them that is. Wish me luck! I am working extra hrs tonight because of TV adds, so yeah, I get to be up until 5 am. I know you are totally jealous. LOL Hope I have something funner to write about next time, when I don't feel like crap and venting and blitching about life. I will feel so relieved when the whole move is over.

Wordless Wednesday (with some words as usual)

Wordless Wednesday (with words as usual)

and not so Wednesday but it was when I took the pictures so deal with it.

The joys of working from home. This is pictures is taken from the window of the back door. I had to get onto a training call for work yesterday and even though Will was on my lap most of the time and that I sneakily walked away about 5 times to check on him look what happened! The 2 little boys grabbed about anything they could find and threw it out the back door. You can see the horse and bunnies but there were also things like the remote controls, sippy cups, toys, a shirt, the boxes with the TV cords in them, and some other stuff too. UGH!

And WHY do they do this? Because Mom wasn't looking.

And this is why you shouldn't play pot-tag.

You know running around with pots and pans chasing each other. Come on I know you do it everyday too, just admit it. It's all fun and games until Will gets his head gashed open. It was actually pretty nasty and I should have taken him for stitches but I didn't because Jesse wasn't home yet and I didn't have a car. So he will just have to heal Ah-Natural.

Why does Will seem to be the star in my wordless Wednesdays? Maybe because there just are no words???? LOL

Officially Moving and the Tornado has struck again!

There has been a lot of chaos at our house the past few days. What is new right? LOL

Sunday the Activity Days girls sang in sacrament meeting the song we practiced and learned 2 weeks ago. They did a great job! This week for Activity Days we made friendship bracelets. Cute huh!? We did them by punching out fun foam circles using a hole punch and then running a needle with elastic through them. Each girl made 2. One to keep and one to give to a Friend. The cool thing is that my friend Nikki brought me all the stuff and the idea to use. Isn't that cool? So friendship brought together our lesson on friendship. And now I sent them on to Leslie for her girls and she will send it to another ward and so on. AWESOME! Anyway while the girls put together the bracelets we talked about friendship and how to be a friend.

Apparently it isn't helping my poor Samantha though. Not only did she leave her bracelets on the table at IHOP and the bus boy threw them away but this had been some of worst few weeks for her in the friend world at school. Man I am so glad that I only have 1 girl. This whole girls cat fights thing it just too much for me!!! Tonight after getting back from packing a taking things to the new house. Samantha came in my office and sat here and cried to me for over an hour about how "everyone is being mean" and "no one wants to be my friend" "not even one person will play with me now" etc.

Ya know those times when you just want to make it all better but you know you can't? Well that was us. I really didn't know what to tell her other than to just hang in there and try to be nice to everyone. It seems that her 2 favorite friends in the world have decided to be BFF's and that leaves no room for her. And even though she just keeps saying "I just don't know what I did." and "Why why are they doing this?" "Why does she have to tell everyone else not to play with me now?' and "I am not being rude to her I am only being nice" I know that there are things she is probably doing and saying that aren't very nice. She insists that she is sitting on the bench at recess friendless. (not sure about that one)

So when I try to explain that even though she may not think that these things hurt their feelings they might. Then she just cries harder and tells me that now I don't like her either and that I just want to get mad at her for trying to make friends. Poor kiddo how do I just listen and not lecture? It is so hard for me. So I decided that all she needed was a shoulder to cry on. So we cried together and tried to think of ways to make friends. The hard part is that the one friend that is mad at her is the "Queen Bee" and has told all the other girls not to play with her. And her other friend isn't being mean but won't play with her because queen bee says that she can't. So she is stuck between a rock and a hard spot and well....UGH GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!!!

It's just so hard as a mom to see them with their broken little hearts thinking that their world is coming apart. So glad I only have one Drama Queen. I feel bad for my sister who has 5 girls to deal with. YIKES!!

And in other news....

We are OFFICIALLY MOVING!!! We passed the final inspection and have been moving stuff into the garage and tomorrow we sign on the final papers and get the keys! WOO HOO!!! MINE MINE MINE!! (well after 30 yrs of paying the bank but hey still MINE!!) LOL Tonight is the last night that I will sleep in the rental and tomorrow we are FINALLY after years going to be sleeping in our own home that we have waited for, planned, waited for, fought for, and pushed for, for such a long time. I know that my grandma would be so happy to see us finally living here. We dreamed of this for years and the day has finally come. It still doesn't seem real to me that I am going to be living on this ground that has been in our family for 150 yrs. and that I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. I just can't believe that it is finally here... And that is has really been worth all the red tape and bull crap but that we finally made it through. I can't wait for tomorrow. And how and I going to celebrate it??? I have no idea, probably by yelling at my kids to not touch anything in the new house and by ordering in food because I will be to busy moving to cook. LOL

Not very creative I know. But I am still very very excited!!

p.s. of course Will is sick when we are moving. Garyn was sick on Saturday and spend the night laying across the street on Grandmas Couch while we hauled boxes and Then last night I got off work and came into bed at around 3am and poor little Will woke up in his disoriented middle of the night FREAK OUT that he does. He sits in the bed and cries "bugs bugs bugs" or "spiders" and he is totally convinced that there are some and we have to turn on the lights and show him that there isn't any and then after a while he finally calms down and goes back to sleep. Who ever heard of a little BOY being so scared of bugs?? UGH!!! It started with him getting stung by a hornet last summer and was escalated by the big kids using it as a scare tactic to keep him out of places they don't want him to be. Saying things to him like "No Will don't go in my room there are spiders" and etc. OOOH I could just beat them!!! I get so mad at them for giving him this stupid fear. He is going to hate summer when the flies start to come out again. And living on a farm with cattle you can just imagine that yes we have flies.

Anyway he finally go back to sleep and I get about 20 min of sleep when I hear a not so lovely sound and look up and there is Will standing on the side of my bed puking on me. GREAT!!! So we spent a very sleepless night and a not so productive moving day taking care of pukey Will. Thank goodness for family!! My dad called and came over and took him around 1 and kept him so that I could pack. (funny thing is that by then he felt better and Grandpa said he didn't throw up even once) And my sister came to help me pack the kids (totally disgusting messy) rooms. This was very very nice of her. She is a Drama teacher and this is THE worst week of the year for her as she is in the middle of her musical production of "Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat" with a cast of over 150 kids in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. And she took her only night that she doesn't have rehearsals or the play and came to help me move. And then my mom came over once she got off work and packed all my kitchen cupboards into boxes and took that over to the house. Yeah the ROCK!!! I was happy to have so much help and this is just the beginning. I have had so much help from family in the process of building this house. ENORMOUS blessings from Jesse's family and mine clear out to our cousins. I can't even believe how many people have helped in one way or another. In huge ways from helping us get a better interest rate, to out of the blue bringing us the fill dirt we needed, to even one of his cousins just happened to work at the electric company and helped us save thousands on the installation, and my uncle works at the phone and helping us paint, and well this list could go on all night. It has been absolutely jaw dropping. And the numerous offer to help us move be friends family and neighbors. Sorry this has been such a long entry but I feel very very blessed and I felt that I needed to have this written down. See ya in a few days when I am feeling more settled and am back to work. I took the rest of the week off. :)

Friday Funny!

This sums up the existence of Will.

Notice the missing clothes?

Notice that he has replaced his clothing with self imposed pen tattooing?

Notice that he is also donning a pair of Garyn's boots that Garyn is not very happy about?

Notice the boxes all stacked up in the background?

Notice the bruised forehead from climbing up the drawers?

Notice the mess all over his face and his hands?

No wait there is no mess on his hands... Oh he must have put that mess onto the couch!

Notice that he is extremely happy with his current sate of being?

Notice that if you could see mom she would probably be half laughing and half crying because this kid drives her nuts but also is so adorable that you just can't help but love him!

Notice that it is just all plain funny?

Awwwww Our Silly, Willy, Pilly, we love you!

p.s.

OK so I took this picture last week and was saving for my Wordless Wednesday and never got a chance to put it up so now it is my Friday Funny. LOL But, he is funny, and you know it! hehehe

Credits: Page Elements fron www.DigitalExpressClub.com

Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Rolly Polly Fish Heads! ~ My Tuesday Tell All

Isn't that like a Dr. Demento song? Well that describes my life these days. I promise if you read this you will understand why. Though it is a little gross. That is your warning.

OK so since we are in the middle of building a new house and still living in a way too small for my family (especially since mom is a pack rat) old farm house we are in a mess. When I say a mess that is putting it lightly. I swear people, we have redefined the word filth! I feel like I have to houses to keep up on and I am not any good at keeping up on one. As soon as the kids get home from school we run over to the new house and also feed the cows while there, then we usually leave in just enough time to grab some food, (don't know when I cooked last) and head home just in time for me to eat before gong into the den of solitude to "work" for the night) It is getting crazy!

I have been trying to pack during the day but with the Trollz at home with me that isn't going to swell. And as for the outside.... lets just say this: I admit it I still have Christmas lights and my Christmas wreaths on the fence. Well some of them, some have blown off and are lying on the grass. Yes we are WAY STINKING BEHIND!!!!

So with all of this more than our usual chaos dear hubby decides that he doesn't care about the fish tank any more. The freaking huge fish tank, that use to be his pride and joy, and that is consequently placed front and center when anyone comes to visit. (please try to remember that the placement of hear said tank is because it is USUALLY Beautiful!) He says "It will be too hard to move with all the water so I am going to let some evaporate before the move and then I will get it all fixed up again" hum...

It has been gradually getting uglier and uglier as time goes on. Yup sure enough the water started to evaporate and the remaining water well lets just say "pond scum" would be a great description. And then the fish start dying. These are some big fish too that have been in there for years. And once you loose one large size fish it toxins the water and then they all die in a matter of about 24 hrs. OH yummy! I need to add here that it is fully against my moral beliefs, or rather my gag reflex, to touch the dead fish even with a net, (as if a little fish net were going to do the job) So in the a.m. I hear splashing water and look over at the tank that is at this point only about 1/3 full and see them all dying. YUCKY!!! So I just decide that we aren't going into the front room until daddy can come home and bravely scoop the fish up. By the time we got home that night they already stunk. So he ever so bravely get his cup and scoops up all the stupid bodies and where does he put them?

Oh yes right on the front lawn. Thank goodness we live in the country!!! And thank goodness we have 4 cats of our own and about 4 farm cats that stock us daily for free food. I am sure they thought it was a Sea Food Buffet. So the next day, the kids go out the door to school, and what do they see?? Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Rolly Polly Fish Heads! all lined up on the porch! Gotta love how cats want to show you how wonderful they are for what they have uhm "caught" for lack of a better word.

And here is me thinking (edited here for the swearing that was really going on in my head) "You stupid lazy a$5 cats! You sit out here all day waiting for your free dang food and then you finally go hunting, and you can only come up with are already dead fish off the lawn and then you actually bring us the rotten disgusting fish heads? Great job hunting guys!" Worthless d@*n cats!!! I kicked the heads our by the field and next day they brought them back AGAIN! Stupid cats! I had Jaden put them in the trash this time. Samantha thinks she is going to die!

Seriously I don't know who is worse the Cats for their lame-O hunting skills? OR the Hubby for his lame-O fish disposal skills!? Or the wife who is still lame-O complaining when he is building her a new house? LOL

And then there is the other matter of the frozen dead bunny!? And dear hubby of mine if you don't get that one taken care of I might just take pictures and blog it too!? What is this pet cemetery? UGH UGH UGH I want a normal life back!

Sorry kids, I am SO giving up pets for a while!!

Have you ever had something get this far out of control?

Poor Little William and Garyn Sick AGAIN!

Here is he is getting his 1st home breathing treatment.

I got some darling video too of how brave he is. This poor kid is sick again! Garyn and Will have both got Croup pretty bad. Poor Garyn knew it was comming on Thurdsay he kept saying "I am breathing like Krook again, you better take me to the hospital" He had a really hard night and was paniking about not being able to breath. He responded well to going out in the cold for that night. Then we got him to the doctor Friday and got him some medicine and decided that it was time to buy a breathing machine. Good thing too because of course Will got it the next day too. Poor kids both sound aweful. Garyn seems to be doing good and doesn't even need the breathing treatments. I am so glad the doctor gave us the medication for it though because Will has had several of them now. He is such a trooper and just sits still and breaths. I am so surprised for a 2 yr old he is doing really good at it. It is so hard when they are sick all the worry. Its almost harder on us as moms than on the kids because they don't have the worry all they know is that they don't feel good.