April Conference 2008 even better than I expected

Well one thing it for sure, this weekend was even better than I had expected. It was AMAZING and such a great testimony builder. This was a special conference and I have been very excited to be able to listen to President Monson. But what I got was so much more it was unexpected and great.

I turned the TV on and gathered the family for the 10 am session Saturday and I was crying before the 1st prayer was even over it was just amazing. I just felt the warm comforting feeling that you feel when you know you are witnessing something amazing. The solemn assembly was so incredibly powerful. I couldn't have ever been prepared for the strong and wonderful spirit that I felt in my home as my children stood so excited to raise their hands and we stood there together as a family and were able to sustain and support the Prophet. We talked a little about how wonderful it is that God doesn't leave us to go it alone but that he sends us great leaders to help us. And even when we loose one as great as President Hinckley our Heavenly Father has already groomed and prepared someone to take his place. I hope they could feel the spirit as well. I am so grateful that we got to have this experience. It was also nice being that I live in UT and we got to watch a special presentation about the life of President Monson and the kids got to see a little of what I meant by Heavenly Father preparing him for this great work his whole life. It was great. And then his remarks at the very end on Sunday when you could tell he was just speaking from the cuff. Oh how endearing. He has such a great humor and such a fun way about him and hearing him talk about his wife being worried about the 4th quarter taxes. He is so real just a real person so much like the rest of us so humble and yet so amazingly powerful. I am sad that I missed the ear wiggling at the priesthood session on Sat. It sounded great.

The talks were all great. I know that several times I felt as though they were talking right to me and that the talk was given just for my ears to hear it. I always feel this way during conference I am sure that is why I love it so much. Also my favorite talk was the "mom" talk by Elder M. Russel Ballard. I laughed when I told my hubby that it made me feel guilty for always feeling guilty about not being a good enough mom. Can't wait to re-watch it tomorrow. I recorded it all.

And despite my feeling guilt for feeling guilt, I was so happy to hear him say that we need to remember that parenting is about the "moments" (and WOW Crystal that is your word for the year totally thought of you. Are you on the right wave length or what?) It helped me to know that it is ok to not worry so much about the next 'thing' then next task or even or checking something off my mental to do list but to enjoy the kids while they are young. I had to have Will and his constant sicknesses and neediness to teach me this, and I have been working on it, even if by being forced by Will to take the time for the moments, but I am glad because this is so important. I need to really remember that the important thing as a mom is that I need to take the time to enjoy them, to love them, to pray with them, and to teach them, because these are the things that will really matter in the end. Not if I had enough fun planned, attended enough events, did enough homework, gave them enough educational toys, make enough posters, did I do enough time outs, do I do too many time outs, was at the school enough, did all the teacher gifts, made all the handouts cute, etc. you know, all the stuff we beat ourselves up with as moms. I need to do my best and just do my best.

Even though now I kind of feel guilty that I got a job because I was sick of feeling like a failure as a mom and couldn't stand it and have to have a pay check so that I feel worth anything. It was a great talk if even for me to realize that a mothers worth is priceless. Though admittedly I am still not ditching the job because #1 now I have the new house to pay for and its not as job optional as it was. #2 because I work at home in the middle of the night when they are all sleeping so I am not missing much #3 because I love having "me" time and I get to do other stuff while working like uhm blog, relax, chat on IM with my friends, do a little family history work, and my new joy extractions, and make scrapbook pages when I actually take the time to. And #4 because even if a mothers worth is priceless I now know that having a price attached to me makes me sane and less homicidal/suicidal. Sad I know, but that's just how it is. I do need to work on the guilt thing though. And if having a job helps me deal with my postpartum depression bad mom issues than so be it.

Anyway it was just a great weekend. The kids had fun having the grandparents over for dinner and of course loved going to the park after conference for a family picnic. Complete with freezing cold wind and a little rain of course. And we even got to take my niece Savannah from Jesse's side of the family with us too so it was double great. Yeah I needed that outing. Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend too.