Weekend Wonders

So this weekend I attended a funeral. My Sisters MIL passed away. The funeral was beautiful and when I came home I told my hubby that people should attend a funeral once every 6 months just as way to really stop and appreciate life and reflect on how you are handling the truly important things in this life. I know it helped me want to be a better person remembering this great lady and all the service that her life entailed. You can read about her on my sisters blog it's a great post that makes ya think. Not that I want to have someone I know die every 6 months but you know what I mean.

Anyway ... I did ok until I saw my nieces crying. That just breaks my heart for them. These are my girls and I love them so much and know just how much they are going to miss their Grandma. She is in a better place but it is still so hard to loose a loved one and especially a Grandma when you are so young. My Grandmothers both passed away about 4 yrs ago and my heart still aches. I miss them so much too. I am so thankful to know that we will see them again and that a family will be together forever!

Then on Saturday we canned Salsa. I love canning with my husband. It is just a fun thing for us to do together. I ended up taking a few hrs off work so that I could stay in the kitchen and help finish it up and it was really nice to just spend time working and chatting and laughing together. We got about 30 jars done and every single one sealed. We decided the funnest part of canning is counted how many "pops" we hear so we know they are sealed. LOL Then they still didn't need me at work so I got to sleep a few hrs till the infomercials started and I logged in for a few hrs and then the best part... Jesse let me sleep till almost noon Sunday!!! Woo Hoo much needed sleep. I feel so spoiled.

We didn't go to church because it was stake conference and I needed my sleep and hate spending 2hrs keeping the little ones quiet. So when I finally hauled my butt out of bed we went to a family reunion for my Dad's family. It was a blast! It was at his cousins house and the kids got to swim. (pictures coming soon) I was exhausted after chasing the kids in the pool both Garyn and Will wanted to hang on me, until Garyn decided he could swim on his own. He is a pretty good swimmer actually. And I got hooked up with some of my cousins blogs and have decided to start participating in 10 on Tuesdays... You will see my 1st one this Tuesday.

Then is was home to get the last of homework done, kids bathed, fed and in bed and then I was off to the office to work and here I am at 5 am wondering if it will be worth trying to sleep for an hr after I get off before waking the kids up for school or it I should just stay up the extra hr and get something done so that I am not a zombie getting them out the door to school. hummm... The real question is if I miss the chance at an hr of sleep when will the next chance be? With my life and my 4 kids I never know when I will get to sleep. I think I will take the hr.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Playing Tag... Here goes

List 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 obsessions/collections, 3 surprising facts and then tag five other people. Leave a comment for the people you tag so they know they have been tagged. Okay, here goes...

3 Joys?
1. Spending time with my family. Especially taking vacations. Would love to when I am older be able to take my kids and their kids on fun vacations. I don't think this will be possible but I am still dreaming.

2. I just really enjoy a good movie. One of my favorite things it Thursday nights.. It's our "Date Night" and more than not that ends up with us at a movie.

3. Hanging out with friends chatting and giggling all night long and especially if we are scrapbooking or making something fun.

3 Fears?
1. Loosing a child. I don't know how I could ever live after that. I watched my mom do I have watched the pain left after my MIL did it. I have been there for friends that have had to do it. They are all so strong, I am not. I admit that I don't know how the sun ever comes up again after that. Truth is I fight depression and have most my life, and I fear that would be the final straw for me.

2. Loosing my ability to communicate. I fear getting old and having a stroke or something that makes it so that I have to live in body that is a prison.

3. I fear that my kids will loose their way and that Satan will drag them down in the depths of darkness that he creates so prevalently in this world. I fear that my abilities as a mother will fall far to short for what they need to have the strength that they need in this world. I hope and pray that they will feel the love of Jesus Christ and that his love will give them the strength that will be enough. I know that he can fill in for the shortcomings that I have. I just hope they listen to the feelings when it comes.

3 Obsessions/Collections?
1. HA HA HA I collect everything. I can not throw things away. I have a bunch of my toys from when I was a kid. They all have meaning to me so I just can't toss them. They are all in plastic toes in storage. Dumb but I like knowing there are there. I horde and I know it. I have tons of old things from my Grandma's too. I am sick and need help. LOL

2. Scrapbook and Craft Stuff.... More than I even want to admit to. And I just keep on buying more.. Help I can't stop..... Hubby says when I die and after the funeral he is going to have it all set up and just draw back the curtain and begin the bidding. Want a good deal on old craft and scrap crap? Just come to my funeral. His big plan?? To pay off my house with the money from the auction. LOL probably have enough too...... LOL

3. I obsess over all kinds of stupid stuff. I can never get to sleep at night even though I work till after 5 am. I still lay in bed and obsess over stupid crap that I probably can't change. I hate being so disorganized all the time. I spend too much time organizing little things like in the closets short sleeve shirts then long sleeve then dressy then t's etc. and then I am too freaking ADHD to get to the other stuff and actually pick up. My house is always a mess and I freaking hate it!!! And the worst is I am so tired all the time that now when I could clean I usually sleep. grrrr... see obsessing right now!

3 Surprising Facts about me?
1. My husband is done having kids. I hate being done having kids, but I like having a husband more. We need him for the kids we already have. LOL And the truth is I am a psycho mom that doesn't even have patience for the 4 I have and I know it. But I love them and feel that I do have more love to go around.

2. I believe in love at 1st site. I think that sometimes our souls remember someone from before we came to this earth or that when we meet someone we can just know that they will be an important part of our lives. I knew the 3rd time I saw my husband that he was the one. I have never doubted it since. Even when I have wanted to strangle him. We truly had a fairytale courtship and engagement. And I still feel like a princess. . . well most the time.

3. I can't think of anything good so I am taking Crazymama's confession since it is true for me too. And it's about time I confess: I have never read the whole Book of Mormon cover to cover. I have almost but yet never finished it. Now don't judge me. You may be like my hubby who says "How can you have faith in something you haven't read?" And yet I know it is true and have felt the spirit of Christ in the stories on those pages. I knew it one day and that is all there is to it. I can't deny those feelings and I just plain didn't have to read the whole thing to know. But I do know that it is important to study it more and one day I will finish it.

So I am tagging... Amy, Kerri, Heidi, Marylyn, and Janet, and Marla.

Jaden's 1st adventure with Young Mens

Now that Jaden is 12 he gets to go to Young Men's or Mutual which it the Youth Group for the teenagers in our church. For his 1st activity they met at the church and then went and did a service project of stacking firewood for a widow in our ward (congregation). After the work was done it was tie to play... so they took the boys out on the lake for some fun Water Skiing. Poor Jaden has never been water skiing and he didn't get up on the wake board very well. But he still had a blast and thought is was a pretty cool 1st activity. This week he gets to go rock wall climbing. Pretty cool! He is gong to love this! How did he get so grown up so fast? It seems like yesterday they were handing him to me in the delivery room.

Jaden is 12, A very BIG deal!

Jaden turned 12 this month and for him this was a BIG deal! He has been so excited for his birthday he even made a little calendar to hang in his room that had numbers to pull off for each day. We did lots of fun parties for him. (pictures below) But the crowning event was Sunday Aug 17th at church when he was ordained by his dad to receive the Aaronic Priesthood. He is such a great kid and we are so very proud of him. He was so cute preparing for his interview with the Bishop. I think he was expecting a quiz on how much he knows about the gospel cuz he kept asking me questions for weeks. I kept telling him not to worry so much and that he was just fine. He has always been like that. He is such a good kid he just wants to be the best he can.

Honestly I have no idea how I got a kid that is such a strong young man. He has an amazing ability to choose the right. And he worries about his loved ones when they makes choices that he knows are not right. (believe me, I have had many a lessons from him about not swearing. LOL) And even though I still am not old enough for him to be 12 I am very very proud of him. The day they ordained him we all got a chance to tell him how we feel about him and his choices. It was so cool. There was such a special spirit in the room with us. I wish I would have written down all the nice things people said to him. He was beaming from ear to ear.

This last Sunday he was able to serve the Sacrament. He was once again so nervous that he would do something wrong. Of course he did just fine. He did giggle a little when he got to his best friends row. He said "Kaden and his mom were trying not to laugh so then I was trying not to laugh. So I just quit looking at them" He is a hoot. This next week he gets to collect the fast offerings and for that he is super excited!

For any one that is not a member of the LDS faith here is some info on the Aaronic Priesthood
In the LDS Church today, worthy male members may receive the Aaronic Priesthood beginning at age 12. These young men, typically ages 12–17, receive many opportunities to participate in sacred priesthood ordinances and give service. As they worthily fulfill their duties, they act in the name of the Lord to help others receive the blessings of the gospel.

More on my faith: http://mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/ or http://lds.org

I hope he can continue to make good choices and be as strong as he has been. He is an amazing person. And also because if he is a teenager like I was... I will lock him in a cage and throw away the key. LOL

Now for the Birthday Festivities:

Of course we had a big family and cousins party. For this we went to the pool.
Jaden, my other kids and the cousins enjoying the sun.

Jaden and Cousin Necia checking out his new long board that he got.

His other favorite gift... he put together all his birthday money and bought himself
a Digital Video Camera. (using dad's employee discount of course) LOL Spoiled Kid!

We went Bowling with some of his best friends.
More pictures of the friend party. (notice that we cut off the blond hair so it was just tips by the time we did pictures at the church and for school to start)
We also had the Grandma's and Grandpa's all go to dinner with us at Brick Oven. YUMMY!!!
This was his special request, and that we got a baby sitter for the little kids so it was special just for him.

Happy Birthday Young Man!!!

Last year to be a kid.. next year he is officially a teenager. YUCK!

April Conference 2008 even better than I expected

Well one thing it for sure, this weekend was even better than I had expected. It was AMAZING and such a great testimony builder. This was a special conference and I have been very excited to be able to listen to President Monson. But what I got was so much more it was unexpected and great.

I turned the TV on and gathered the family for the 10 am session Saturday and I was crying before the 1st prayer was even over it was just amazing. I just felt the warm comforting feeling that you feel when you know you are witnessing something amazing. The solemn assembly was so incredibly powerful. I couldn't have ever been prepared for the strong and wonderful spirit that I felt in my home as my children stood so excited to raise their hands and we stood there together as a family and were able to sustain and support the Prophet. We talked a little about how wonderful it is that God doesn't leave us to go it alone but that he sends us great leaders to help us. And even when we loose one as great as President Hinckley our Heavenly Father has already groomed and prepared someone to take his place. I hope they could feel the spirit as well. I am so grateful that we got to have this experience. It was also nice being that I live in UT and we got to watch a special presentation about the life of President Monson and the kids got to see a little of what I meant by Heavenly Father preparing him for this great work his whole life. It was great. And then his remarks at the very end on Sunday when you could tell he was just speaking from the cuff. Oh how endearing. He has such a great humor and such a fun way about him and hearing him talk about his wife being worried about the 4th quarter taxes. He is so real just a real person so much like the rest of us so humble and yet so amazingly powerful. I am sad that I missed the ear wiggling at the priesthood session on Sat. It sounded great.

The talks were all great. I know that several times I felt as though they were talking right to me and that the talk was given just for my ears to hear it. I always feel this way during conference I am sure that is why I love it so much. Also my favorite talk was the "mom" talk by Elder M. Russel Ballard. I laughed when I told my hubby that it made me feel guilty for always feeling guilty about not being a good enough mom. Can't wait to re-watch it tomorrow. I recorded it all.

And despite my feeling guilt for feeling guilt, I was so happy to hear him say that we need to remember that parenting is about the "moments" (and WOW Crystal that is your word for the year totally thought of you. Are you on the right wave length or what?) It helped me to know that it is ok to not worry so much about the next 'thing' then next task or even or checking something off my mental to do list but to enjoy the kids while they are young. I had to have Will and his constant sicknesses and neediness to teach me this, and I have been working on it, even if by being forced by Will to take the time for the moments, but I am glad because this is so important. I need to really remember that the important thing as a mom is that I need to take the time to enjoy them, to love them, to pray with them, and to teach them, because these are the things that will really matter in the end. Not if I had enough fun planned, attended enough events, did enough homework, gave them enough educational toys, make enough posters, did I do enough time outs, do I do too many time outs, was at the school enough, did all the teacher gifts, made all the handouts cute, etc. you know, all the stuff we beat ourselves up with as moms. I need to do my best and just do my best.

Even though now I kind of feel guilty that I got a job because I was sick of feeling like a failure as a mom and couldn't stand it and have to have a pay check so that I feel worth anything. It was a great talk if even for me to realize that a mothers worth is priceless. Though admittedly I am still not ditching the job because #1 now I have the new house to pay for and its not as job optional as it was. #2 because I work at home in the middle of the night when they are all sleeping so I am not missing much #3 because I love having "me" time and I get to do other stuff while working like uhm blog, relax, chat on IM with my friends, do a little family history work, and my new joy extractions, and make scrapbook pages when I actually take the time to. And #4 because even if a mothers worth is priceless I now know that having a price attached to me makes me sane and less homicidal/suicidal. Sad I know, but that's just how it is. I do need to work on the guilt thing though. And if having a job helps me deal with my postpartum depression bad mom issues than so be it.

Anyway it was just a great weekend. The kids had fun having the grandparents over for dinner and of course loved going to the park after conference for a family picnic. Complete with freezing cold wind and a little rain of course. And we even got to take my niece Savannah from Jesse's side of the family with us too so it was double great. Yeah I needed that outing. Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend too.

Totally Looking Forward to Conference

It is that time again when we get to participate in LDS General Conference and I am so excited. I have really been looking forward to this session. I can't wait to hear from the new President of the LDS church Thomas S. Monson. For those that aren't LDS and want to know a little about what we believe you should tune in. The sessions are at 10 am and 2 pm Mountain Time and You can watch on Dish Network or on Direct TV or listen by visiting the LDS website here. I can't explain it but I am just excited. The past few weeks feel more like the past few years and it will just be really nice to relax and watch from home and get to feel the spirit. Sometimes being to busy with the kids and our callings at church you start to feel like you are missing the point. It will be a great chance to refocus on the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And to not have to fight the kids. We don't make our kids sit an listen they can so things but they don't get to have the TV's or Radios on except for conference. That way if they are playing with toys or coloring or putting together a puzzle or etc. they are still listening. And amazingly they do get something out of it.

We also have some really fun traditions for conference weekends. That, may be part of my excitement. I have needed a family together outing day for a while. We haven't done anything fun for a while. Just building, packing, moving, going crazy, and etc. For fall conference we usually drive up to see the changing of the leaves on Saturday in between the 2 sessions and have lunch and then take a drive and listen to the second session on the radio. For spring we take a drive and look for the signs of spring. Usually out to the lake to see the icebergs but this year I don't think there are any. Well at least I can't see them from my upstairs window but we are probably going to drive down and look anyway. It will still be fun and nice to spend time just being a family.

And then on Sunday we have dinner with my MIL in between the 2 sessions. This year we are having her at our house since this past week has been totally exhausting for her and since we are LOVE LOVE LOVING having a house that we can actually have guests in. My Mom and Dad are coming over too. It will be nice to hang out and eat. And then after the 2nd session on Sunday. we are going to a family picnic to celebrate my birthday and my nieces birthday and my BIL's b-day. That should be fun too except that I know I will be making my family leave earlier than they will want to be leaving so that I can get home to work. It is killing them that I have to be home and logged in before the sun actually goes down. They want me to move to a later shift. The only bad thing is that if I start later I also finish later and I already don't get off until 2 am so that may be really hard. I also want to change but think I better wait until May because then Jaden can watch the little kids for me in the mornings and I can sleep in. That is the only way it could work. Unfortunately I have to sleep sometimes. DARN IT! That is the one thing that is appealing about the Twilight vampires no sleeping. That would be so nice. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Questions:
What kind of Conference traditions do you have?
Do you make your kids sit right at the TV and Listen?
Do you make them take notes or etc?
Wouldn't it be nice to not have to sleep when the rest of the world is sleeping?

FOOD: It is such a waste of time after all. Eating too. I feel like we spend so much time working to pay for food, shopping to buy the food, making the food, eating the food (ok that part is good), cleaning up the food, and then the whole mess of pooping of the food. Really how much time do you think you waste on food related items? TONS!! WOW did I get off subject here? LOL I know I am nutz for sure

Jaden in the Wax Museum as Gordon B. Hinckley

This week at school all the 5th graders did their Wax Museum Presentations. Each kid picks a famous person from American History and they prepare a 5 sentence dialog and then they get to dress as that character. They sit or stand and hold still like a wax figure and when you push their button (aka sticker) they repeat their little spill. Jaden chose to be Gordan B. Hinckley. He did a great job and I was so proud of him. Of all the famous Americans from sports, to music, to historical, that he could have picked to be Hinckley is who he chose. He is a really neat kid.

It has been so amazing to watch as this 11 year old boy has grieved the passing of the only prophet the has ever known in his lifetime so far. He will also have such a special connection to President Hinckley and I hope he will always remember how he felt about him and his teachings. Jaden has always been the one in our family to get mad at the other kids during conference and tell them "sssshhhhh that is the prophet speaking and I need to listen" He had a really hard time when he found out about the passing or the prophet, and I felt that this was a great opportunity for him to pay tribute in his own way to such a great man that not only did so much for the members of the LDS faith but for people all over the country and all over the world. I am so glad that he would pick such a great man at his hero! I don't think that he could find anyone more Christlike to follow than the leaders of our church. I am so Thankful for their testimonies of Jesus Christ and that my children have the opportunity to listen to them and learn from them.

I didn't even know that he was doing this and he did all his own research and preparation. He even called around and found a cane to use. It was a really fun night for us. I had several people come up to me after the night was over to tell me that he really, is such an amazing boy and that his presentation really made them think about President Hinckley and that he carried such a reverence to himself as he did it. I am grateful to have such a great person in my life. Jaden I learn more from you everyday than what you will ever learn from me. You are one of my greatest heroes buddy! I am one lucky mom!!!!

Glenn Beck talking about Gordon B. Hinckley

I use to watch Glenn Beck, but don't really get the chance to now because of working nights. (I so need Tivo) But I was sent this video of his tribute to President Hinckley and I found if very moving. I thought I would post it here since so many of my family and friends wanted to see it.

One of the neat things about Glenn Beck is the way he has changed into a better person and has really moved away from his past mistakes but how he realizes that #1 those are part of what has shaped him into who he is and that #2 he is still a work in progress. I like his down to earth way of speaking. Though if I watch his show or listen to his radio show too much it can get me scared. LOL

We Thank Thee, O God, For A Prophet!

Beloved Prophet

Gordon Bitner Hinckley

1910-2008

Because words can not describe how I feel about this amazing Christlike Man that has strengthened and guided me for these past many years. This song says it all:

We thank thee, O God, for a Prophet
To guide us in these latter days;
We thank thee for sending the Gospel
To lighten our minds with its rays;
We thank thee for every blessing,
Bestowed by thy bounteous hand;
We feel it a pleasure to serve thee,
And love to obey thy commands.

When dark clouds of trouble hand o'er us,
And threaten our peace to destroy,
There is Hope smiling brightly before us,
And we know that deliv'rance is nigh;
We doubt not the Lord nor his goodness,
We've proved him in days that are past;

The wicked who fight against Zion
Will surely be smitten at last.

We'll sing of his goodness and mercy;
We'll praise him by day and by night;
Rejoice in his glorious Gospel,
And bask in its life-giving light;
Thus on to eternal perfection
The honest and faithful will go;
While they who reject this glad message,
Shall never such happiness know.

He will be greatly missed!

A few thoughts from me:

I am thankful for a leader to guide me as I stumble down this path called life.

I am thankful for such a pure example of true love.

I want to "Stand for Something" & "Be a little better" than I am today.

I am thankful for his humor, and wit and that at 97 he was a tireless leader.

I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, and for his mercy and unconditional love.

I am thankful that I can live eternally with my beloved family.

I am thankful that I am not alone, and have amazing examples to follow.

Will with his new rocking horse

After opening presents from Santa we headed off to Jesse's Moms for our traditional and oh so yummy Christmas morning omelets. The kids had fun linking together games on Nintendo DS. And of more presents.

Then we went home for 1 1/2 hrs and mom got a nap! (Yay! Go Me!)

The we headed up to Jesse's Dads for Prime Rib Dinner and more presents and then Santa stopped by to deliver some PJ's to all the kids that he had forgotten to leave at our houses.

Garyn with Santa. Since his Birthday is tomorrow Santa even sang Happy Birthday to him.

Samantha with Santa. She asked him if he liked the note she left last night and he said "Oh I loved it you are very artistic." That made her day because she had actually drawn him a picture and wrapped it up for him and he must have remembered because he called her artistic. That made her day and sealed the deal that this must be the "real" Santa. Especially because he told Jaden to keep working on no back talking his parents. The whole room got a kick out of that. Poor Jaden.

Once we left their we went back for a quick stop in at my Mom's again even though we spent Christmas Eve there. So the kids had a great day they got to spend time with all 3 sets of Grandparents and they still had time to play some guitar hero 3 before going to bed tonight. What a fun fun day we had. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family. Not just my little family of my own but also for my extended family that all lives so close to us. It makes for crazy holidays around here with all the places to go, but it is also so rewarding. We have Grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles and so many friends that we get to spend time with and we are so blessed.

We took a few minutes with the kids tonight to talk about all the gifts they had received and about how all of the Christmas gifts from the whole world all put together are not even close to the gift that we were given when god sent his son Jesus to suffer for us and give us eternal life. I just want to add that I thankful for so much today but the very most I am thankful for a loving heavenly father that watches over my family and I am thankful for Jesus Christ and for his life, his example, his Gospel, and his gifts to me.

Wise Men Still Seek Him.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Sometimes there is a little flicker of hope

My sometimes charming and loving oldest children, that never cease to amaze me, with there strong spiritual core. I know that they will have to be tough to make it in today's world. I pray they have continued strength and seek help from each other all their lives.

Do you ever feel like you just aren't getting through to your kids and then they totally out of the blue hit you with something amazing! Well that happened to me today.

I always try to make a big deal out of Christmas being centered on Christ and I always make a big fuss about how much I love Santa because he wants up to always remember the gift that Christ gave to us. We talk every year about Santa being a symbol of Christmas and of how much Santa loves Jesus and how he wants us to remember the gift or eternal life that we have because of our savior and how on Christmas morning as we open presents we need to remember Jesus Christ. I guess it actually seems to be sinking in so far. I still believe very much in the symbol of Santa! My favorite Christmas book is “I Believe in Santa”, it is a relation of the symbol of Santa in Christmas and of Christ, the reason of Christmas. I love it!!! I have to do a post about Jadens mysterious letter that took me by surprise but that is a whole other heart warming story.

Today's is this: And yes I was eavesdropping but not on purpose, I just happened to be within hearing distance as I was doing my morning struggle to greet the new day. They were both in the bathroom at the mirror getting ready not the usual bickering going on, and I hear Jaden say "Samantha, what would you do if Santa didn't come this year?"

And with out even thinking about it she replies right back "Well, then I would just be thankful for all the stuff I already have."

And the best part is Jaden's response to her "Oh, that is a good answer." as if she had just passed some kind of test he was giving her. It made my heart skip a beat or two to hear them being so grateful. I almost fell out of be at that point. LOL They aren't exactly little tots anymore and I hope that they can always remember that Christmas isn't about the stuff but about the love for Jesus Christ. I hope and pray that Christmas will always have the magic for them that it does for me. I Believe! I yes I do know I am still a kid.

How I like to picture Santa and his love for Christ:

Am I nuts?